she sits outside the starbucks beanie covers her face
hides in a furry overcoat with heels up to her thigh gap
two concealed pistols in her inside pockets
a long distance taser, some mace, emergency pager
6 long knives taped to her back
holding shaky hands in torn leather gloves
shes got two black eyes
a bloody nose
rings burned to her fingers she says
thats just how it goes
can’t look too obvious
can never be too safe
i just hope the bastard pays this time
the kids are staying home alone today
i could live a normal life once
id only need to leave home to travel or just for my own leisure
that’s a funny word to hear these days
makes me almost feel a seizure coming on
when the purge came so many friends vanished
i don’t know if they’ve died or ended up inside
ive had to raise my rates
cause it only feels right
only once a while does a john acquiesce without a fight
and i can’t be too obvious out here
and im never safe enough
and rarely do the bastards pay for their time
life’s a bitch, but I’m tough
maybe things will teeter totter like usual
or maybe we’ll overthrow it all completely
but i don’t wanna die yet
i don’t wanna die yet
yet i have to accept right now i might
she says i have tattoos that they will recognize
and they should know my name and my closest ties
have backup arrangements for custody things
my kids need such a better life in case that isn’t something I can bring
folks are so ready to underestimate children
not at all aware at how amazing their becoming
so much smarter
and understanding
yet we always think we gotta protect them from everything
it should be obvious
yet in this hell country it never fucking seems to be
i’d better go and hope the bastard will pay me my dime
hope to see you around sometime
credits
from The Silence of Me,
released June 28, 2020
written April 10, 2018
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